it's almost absurd to me that i am writing in the blog today considering that i have spent a good majority of the day stuck behind the screen of my mac [daddy] working on a final paper. but it must be the late-night nature in me to unwind in this way as a means to feel tired enough to go to bed. fat chance
i had been meaning to write in here earlier this week when it would have been more therapeutic than anything, but the start of my weeks always seem too busy for that. also on a side note, i must be trying to figuratively kill two birds with one stone in the sense that i have a movie playing for the sake of enjoyment rather than for a film class, which is something i also would do during the week if i had the time. three cheers for a disney classic
anyways, i've been thinking a lot about this, no doubt due to the inevitable fact that graduation is in my midst, but there are times where i'm all on board for moving on with my life and then reality sets in and i find myself in dread. last semester it was a different story; you would have had to take me kicking and screaming from purdue, but now 99% of the time i am ready to bust out of here. however, the events of this week have kind of thrown me for a mild loop to say the least
yes graduation is a month away today, yes as of right now i don't have a job, and yes it is extremely hard to be patient in waiting well for an update from any of the places i've interviewed. by this past wednesday i was hoping to hear from the Creation Museum to know if i am moving onto a second interview. as it stands this is my first choice if offered a position, but since i haven't heard anything yet i can't put all my eggs in one basket. which is fine, i mean i don't mind waiting, but the thing is that a month ago i was given an offer for a full-time position with a different employer for only the summer and they've been patiently waiting for an answer from me and need an answer stat. oh boy
so i was imagining i would hear from the museum after a week or so and when that didn't happen i was starting to stress. on the one hand, there's the position i would love to have that's full-time with much-needed medical benefits that i'm not hearing back from, and on the other hand there's the position that i'm guaranteed for only the summer that is, well, a summer job. they aren't my only options but at this point they're the closest things i have so far to potential post-grad employment. so while i was in the middle of thinking about where i currently am, occupationally speaking, a thought occurred to me that i thought was borderline daunting. my entire life has been spent in preparation for what faces me in one month and counting. am i really ready for this? not that a lack of preparedness would delay graduation from happening, but seriously, all that i've spent doing thus far is to ready me for the REST OF MY LIFE.
!!!!!!!! whoa
i don't mean this to say that i am scared, to be perfectly honest i'm actually looking forward to it, but it would be amiss to say that i haven't felt overwhelmed at times. this year i am in 17th grade, that's right--rockin the fifth year, but to think that i haven't done much with my life thus far apart from learning is really strange to think about. it's ironic to think that i feel so young with the rest of my life ahead of me and yet i'm turning 23 this wednesday. whatev
not much is set in stone for me just yet, but i'm totally chill with it. part of me enjoys not knowing what is waiting for me two months from now. but then again, it would be nice to know at some point. all i know is that i have one final exam, one more final paper left to write, a birthday on wednesday, graduation in a month and hawaii two days after that. as far as what happens after i get off the plane i couldn't tell ya. and it's all good
we'll see what's waiting on the other side of life
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