for as much as i have to write and update about, i usually don't find myself as unsure of how to start as i do right now. it's been about a month since i took the red eye back to Cincinnati from California. so much life happening between this post and the last, even now as i sit on my bed typing [which, by the way, i was very much looking forward to reuniting with after spending three months in the same sleeping bag]. the theme that seems to relate the string of events and changes in my life, of course, would be that God is utterly and without a doubt amazing beyond belief.
California, as you might have guessed, was much more than any girl could have ever asked for or dreamed of. To be honest i initially expected little in terms of feeling attached to the people and atmosphere out on the west coast. it's funny, though, how so many times in my life what expectations i have towards something get totally remixed then thrown back at me, in a good way of course. but after the first week of really getting my feet wet with camp and filming kids, it became more than apparent that God had me in for a surprise. Nothing against my friends and family from school and home, but never in my life have i met such genuinely loving people that are so real with themselves and each other. it was as if any pretenses of superiority and perfection never once seeped into the lives of those i was blessed to be blessed by. funny how much more you have in common with others when you stop pretending to be anything or anyone other than yourself and acknowledge that 'we all have our stuff in life but hey that's not going to hold me back from loving you or investing into your life.' the way that they love others didn't come from a sense of duty or obligation, but because they have a genuine desire to do so. it wasn't a we-work-together-so-what-choice-do-we-have type thing, but more of a clover,-this-is-what-legitimate-unconditional-love-looks-like type thing. even writing about it doesn't really do any justice for how faithfully they love and how grateful i am for their gift of friendship. it was really tough towards the end of the summer; just thinking about walking back into the airport instantly brought tears to my eyes. and to think i didn't even cry at graduation or when i moved out. crazy.
best summer yet. of course i could talk forever about California, and i probably will the next time someone asks me, "hey how was California?!?" i'll save it for later--wouldn't want to spoil anything, right?
so of course i was more than reluctant to come home because it meant so much more than that. to me, coming home legitimately meant starting life over. i knew that my experience in Cali was only temporary and i only knew what life had in store for me until August [which extended out until labor day]. but what's the next step once i step off the plane? unemployment? check. living with the parents? check. still single? you guessed it...check. sounds like a pretty sweet life. and you'd be right. well, of course those seem highly lame and not ideal at all once you've spent three months experiencing life in a whole different way on an entirely different coast. remember it's all in how you look at things. yeah unemployment blows when you have bills to pay and are wearing dents in the steering wheel after pounding it so many times when another company turns you down. but when you don't have a job that is taking up a lot of your time, you are free to do things for the people you love that are in your life. now that i'm home, i get to spend way more time with my two youngest cousins that live on the other end of the street because i am here and not away at school or camp. i get to trade silly bands, take them to see Despicable Me, go trick-or-treating with them, and spend time with them at football practice. i get to figure out tennis late at night with my other cousin that is getting married on Friday. my parents and i can go out to watch the Reds become NL Central Division Champions because we have free time when dinner is already made and the house gets cleaned. my dog gets to go for walks or ride shotgun in the middle of the day because i am there with her. it's strange that i'm back in the same house that i've lived in for 21 years, yet it seems as though i'm living in it in a different way. of course if i get a job offer, the amount of time might be spent differently, for now, though, life is pretty sweet and i kind of like it. a lot.
stay tuned, more to come later i'm sure
